Taking a Breather

Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the day my world stopped. The day my husband died. The day my children’s father died. Sometimes 5 years seems forever ago, and sometimes 5 years seems like yesterday.

This year was especially hard because I always used to call my mom on that day and she would make me feel better.  Now Dan is gone, my mom is gone, and I’m left wondering who’s next?  In fact since my Nana died in late 2005 I have lost all four of my grandparents, a husband and my mom.  It just seems a little excessive to me.  I never used to be a worrier, but now I worry all the time.  Maybe my lot in life is to be “grief girl.”

I feel like a jerk for complaining.  I have a wonderful new husband, 4 beautiful children, a great life.  LOTS of people have it worse than I do.  But that’s depression isn’t it?  You can’t appreciate the good things in life because you can’t stop focusing on the bad things.  The people you miss, the things that could have been.  It’s just hard.

I have decided to take a break from blogging for a while.  I’ll be back eventually.  Love you all.

13 thoughts on “Taking a Breather

  1. Oh, honey. Bless your heart. I am so sorry that you’ve lost so many loved ones, esp in such a short period of time. I pray you will find peace and comfort from the wonderful memories you have.

  2. Praying for God’s comfort to rest upon you today. Remember that “the things that could have been” are still under the provincial and sovereign care of our Lord. And He does all things well…(Mark 7:37)

    Think of the things that brought you joy from knowing them. And think about Jesus, who died to give us hope, peace, and deliverance from God’s own wrath.

  3. God doesn’t put things in our path that we aren’t able to handle- and grieving is certainly a way to handle things I believe. That’s why we are called to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort! We love and support you.

  4. Oh sweetheart! Hang in there that is so tough! It’s of any relief to you I know you will see all your loved ones again and will get to live with them for eternity!!! Hang in there life in this world is harder than any of us ever imagined!!!

  5. Take all the time you need. You have had a lot to deal with over the past few years, and your losses are heartbreaking. Anyone with a loving heart would be depressed, but the key is to not get lost in your grief. People say it gets easier with time, but I disagree. I think it gets harder. But your new husband and your children need you. Mourn for those you miss, but find hope and God’s blessings in your new husband and children. Their love for you is God’s loving embrace to help you through your sorrows. As much as you grieve for your lost family, your new husband and children will grieve for you if you take yourself from them and let your depression take you from them. Hold on to them, cherish them, embrace them, and you will find that you can mourn and still live on. Those you have lost live on through your spirit. Share them with your family, and know that one day you will all be together again. God’s blessings to you and peace, which comes through faith. Take care, sweetie.

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